I agree that people should continue to work after the retirement age. I have two reasons to support my opinion.

定年退職後も働き続けるべきだという意見には賛成です。私の意見を支持する理由は2つあります。

First, working has some positive effects on elderly people’s health. By arranging a regular rhythm of their lives and moving their body appropriately, they can prevent physical decline. Moreover, people often communicate with others at work, so they can connect with others and feel less anxious.

第一に、働くことは高齢者の健康に良い影響を与えます。生活のリズムを整え、体を適切に動かすことで、身体の衰えを防ぐことができます。また、職場では他の人とコミュニケーションをとることが多いので、他の人とつながり、不安を感じにくくなります。

修正文
First, working has some positive effects on elderly people’s health for both their body and mind. By arranging a regular rhythm of their lives and moving their body appropriately, they can prevent physical decline. Moreover, people often communicate with others at work, so they can connect with others and relieve stress and anxious.

まず、働くことは高齢者の 心身 の健康に良い影響を与えます。生活のリズムを整え、体を適切に動かすことで、身体の衰えを防ぐことができます。また、職場では他の人とコミュニケーションをとることが多いので、人とつながり、ストレスや不安を和らげることができます。

Second, they need much money to live after the retirement age because most people live long. Actually, they won’t be able to live without not only their pension but also their saving. To spend their retirement comfortably, they will have to work and earn at their own pace.

第二に、ほとんどの人が長生きするため、定年後に生きるには多くのお金が必要です。実際、年金だけでなく貯蓄もないと生きていけません。老後を快適に過ごすためには、自分のペースで働き、稼ぐ必要があります。

For these reasons, people should continue to work after the retirement age.

これらの理由から、定年退職後も働き続けるべきです。

I agree that people should continue to work after the retirement age.

I have two reasons to support my opinion.

First, working has some positive effects on elderly people’s health for both their body and mind.

→　employment can positively impact the health of the elderly, both physically and mentally.

By arranging a regular rhythm of their lives and moving their body appropriately,
→establishing a consistent routine in their lives and engaging in appropriate physical activity they can prevent physical decline.

Second, they need much money to live after the retirement age because most people live long.
提案
Second, they require significant financial resources to sustain their lives post-retirement, given the increased longevity of the population.

Actually, they won’t be able to live without not only their pension but also their saving.
→ their pension and also their savings.

In order to spend their retirement comfortably, they need to earn within a reasonable range for their body. 　→ abilities

Considering the reasons mentioned above, people should continue to work after the retirement age.